I woke up this morning with a lovely ambiance surrounding me – like a fresh breath of air. The mood became hopeful, telling be to take a break, and think things through at least twice. I know it has to be because of something new. Have no idea where this came from or what made it happen to me now. It just made me whole again. You know, when you get that boost of realness, proving to you it might not have been a coincidence. Emptiness I had with me yesterday seems completely gone.
What you were waiting for subconsciously, did eventually drive you over to ‘stressville’ and left you at ‘boulevard where you’ll forever doubt yourself’ all alone. However, at this moment it is calming you down. Telling you everything will be fine again. Knowing that in your state of mind ‘fine’ is just a smile away from sadness. You finally get the courage to say: Hell to the NO! Demanding more of what you truly deserve, well knowing that it might just end with a goodbye or even worse with a silent confusing maybe. We never thought it would last more the moments, yet we’re still in each other’s sphere years after the first disaster. Enjoying the company while planning what to do next.
All I can do when I gain my conscience again is laugh out loud and make a big heavy sigh. So high that I can see my body reboot itself. Refilled with new energy I manage to sit up straight, in my weird enough awfully comfortable bed. Smelling new baked bread suddenly soberly thinking; ‘It’s Sunday that’s why!!!’. Knowing it is you. Your here with me. And for that reason all I want to do is run over to you, and immediately say: “I know I can change. If that change means that you’ll become mine for real this time. I can change for you but only for you. You bring that out of me.”
– XOXO, Yusra O..