AWFUL ACTIONS OF MINE

By other’s I’m not seen as a bad person

Selfish is normally not what they describe me as

Hoever, I feel as like one very selfish and evil person

Who hurts anything and anyone she passes by

Without hesitations or consideration for anyone but me

Consequences is a word I apparently don’t know the meaning of

When you ask me about if I ever would lie, hurt, be disloyal

I’d most definitely say: NEVER would – NEVER could!

 Seconds after unknowing of my actions maybe?

I find myself betraying these sacred words acting dishonestly

Worst part is that I afterwards become numb unable to apologize

Recognizing the wrong I’ve done instead I choose to hide it

Erase it till it’s almost completely forgotten

Left in the deepest gutter to rotten

I’m not saying this because I view myself as perfectly perfect

Or because I believe there’s special standards

Or behavior a special way I should be have

I believe that it’s a think all humans should try to remember

Or at least just try to reflect on

The consequences our bad or not thought of actions have

And remember our mistakes so we don’t

Make a habit of repeating them again and again

These awful actions of mine I hope that you can forgive me for

I hope to gain all of the strength needed to avoid this situation

In the future – in my future – hopefully a better and less bitter one

I write these words down as a remembrance

From future-me to past-me saying:

Don’t let time full you and happy new memories make you think

You without consideration and clarity can act any differently

If the same situation occurs again

Trust me you’ll react the same way and leave behind headache and heartbreak

Just like you did the last time

For someone who likes to write you are funny enough

Not fund of talking, telling those close to you how you really feel

Only when there are no other options left

Only when panic takes over every inch of your body

Only when you cry for help but no one is near

Only when you realize that it’s fear that’s playing with you mind

It might me time to wake up and face the strong but not so dangerous light?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s