Wondering where the wonderful in us went. When did it all changed from being warm and welcoming to just becoming cold and silent? What’s left now is not much but echoes that haunt me. Echoes that are telling me lies, robbing my sanity, and threatening to not set me free – let me be. I was so sure of, what it was, what it was going to be, what it potentially would make me see. I felt safe when we were together, when you looked into my eyes almost through me. You saw me more then I ever thought I would be seen, but only for seconds it would seem. Suddenly you didn’t look at me no more, you weren’t even near, you where no were to be seen. Invisible – out of reach! Everything but what I thought you would be. What I said to myself you were, was a dreamy illusion created by my lively imagination. Fed by your smile and your sweet talk. Fed by peoples empty comments on how lovely and sweet a person you are, how good we would be together. Couldn’t help myself when I was in your presence, which I definitely still won’t be able to.
I had pride once I no longer no where it is, it’s lost and might not be found because I no longer remember how it looked or felt. I changed, it all changed. It might be for the good or for the worse. As long as it evolves into something else and everything still is different then what it currently was, I will be content. Anything will be better then the deadlock I’m in now.
I thought that you cared for me more then this. You’re probably gonna want me when I don’t want anything to do with you. This evil cycle of stupid love.